Friday, May 1, 2009


I have to apologize in advance for this post, kids. If emotional/relationshipanal stuff isn't your thing to read, skip this and check back next week for normally scheduled ditherings.

Why the hell is there such a term as a "no strings" relationship? Who in their right mind could possibly think that could work? If you're the type of person that can honestly sleep with someone and form no emotional attachment whatsoever, I really need you to give me a call because I want your secret. In fact, I will pay you all of the money I have if you teach me how to feel nothing the next day.

Maybe it has to do with being a woman. I don't wanna believe that, but it seems to me that guys are a lot better about not forming emotional attachments to things. Maybe it's honestly just me. I told myself that I was exploring, that I was free, that I was empowering myself. I told myself not to get involved and assumed it would be as simple as that.

What I did is I fed myself a bunch of bullsh*t, and what's worse is, I knew and I did it anyway. What the hell is wrong with me?

My mom told me yesterday that if she had been told at 19 that she would have wait nearly 10 years before she met my dad, she wouldn't have believed it and wouldn't have wanted to wait. If someone told me that I would have to wait 10 years, I would thank God, because I doubt that I'm going to find him in 50. I'm not the type of girl guys date, or maybe it's just that I don't know how to go about dating in a normal way. Again I ask, what the hell is wrong with me?

Of course I get jealous to hear you talk about other women! I know we're nothing, I know it was my choice, and I know it's over. But what the hell do you think I am, made of stone? I did this to myself, I get it. I really do. In a way, the fact that there is nothing to end, that I don't even get a break-up, seens worse.

I can't even get any material out of it. I'm set off by the slightest thing, I feel like crying or kicking, or getting as far away as a possibly can.

Anyone who ever says to you that there can be friends with benefits or a relationship with no strings, or that there can be casual sex with no feelings hurt is lying to you. It's simply a big fat lie, and don't accept any other answer.


  1. Honestly, Justice, I really think it depends on the guy...if you really like a guy, NO you can't have a "no strings" type of relationship. I believe you could find a guy that you were only physically attracted to, not emotionally, and it would work (for a while at least). I think you just really like this guy so there's nothing wrong with you or the way you feel, it has nothing to do with 'being a woman'. you just really like this one. it's ok to be down for awhile, but dont stay gloomy for too long because you could meet 'the one' (is there really only one for us? lol) tomorrow and completely turn him off by being stuck on a guy who really wont even matter in 2010...see you soon bff!

  2. heyy- just found your blog and wanted to say hi.

    but on the subject of your post, you dont want to be the kind of girl who can have a "meaningless relationship." those girls are broken. trust me- i was one. when the hurt becomes so normal it's more an ache than a slap across the face, that's when you can have sex with someone you care about without without needing them to care about you. but why would you ever want that?

    i've been there twice, and it's hell to come back out of.

    good luck with everything--- and happy may!

  3. oh justice. i have been struggling with that shit for the last...oh, i don't know, 8 years of my life. it's unfair that men don't seem to be affected by sex as we are, but to be honest, they're dumber than we are. seriously, the older they get, the more security and permanency they need/want. so go older, i guess is my advice. or just wait. lord knows, we don't need to be tied down to any man right now. i'm right there with you :)